DETAILS:
Thursday, March 24th, my dad was on his way to a doctor appointment. He had been having gastrointestinal (GI) issues for some time and the antacid the previous doctor gave him wasn't working.
His good friend, Lee McBride, forgot his cell phone (which he never does) and was driving back home to get it when he saw my dad in his VW Bus on the side of the road. He thought his car broke down, so he picked up a tow strap when he got his phone and went back to my dad, only to find him unconscious. Lee realized at this point my dad needed help. He was able to rouse my dad a bit and asked him if he could get help, in which case my dad kind of nodded and grunted a "yes." (He "asked" because my dad told him he never wanted to be resuscitated.) So, Lee called 911 and my dad was taken to Longmont Hospital. Lee called my brother, John, who was able to get their immediately.
Apparently my dad's body temperature was so low that they had to incubate him. His blood pH was also so low that he shouldn't have been alive at all. His ammonia levels were 350 (normal is 20-50), and he should have been dead from that alone. All his organs were shutting down.
My brother, John, called me with a decision to make. Dad had given explicit instructions to John and Lee that he did NOT want to be on life support and here he was on life support. I asked that they wait to take him off life support until I could get there the next day.
After I arrived at the hospital, John and I spoke for awhile and decided that we would take him off the pain meds and sedatives to see if he would miraculously become coherent enough that we could ask him about whether or not he wanted to remain on life support while they worked on him and tried to make him better.
By the grace of God, Dad became coherent enough for us to explain the situation and he agreed to remain on ventilation. We had hope. For 10 days, Dad went in and out of consciousness and we were able to communicate with him a little. We would talk and he would nod or shake his head. He was very weak, though, and communication was not easy.
John had to leave Monday, March 28th, and I took over the caregiver roll we had been sharing for three days. It was the most mentally and physically exhausting time of my life. But, I was happy to be there and feel so blessed to have had the opportunity. I also had Sandy, my step-sister (Dad's 3rd wife Raquel's daughter), there to help. Her mom flew in to help with the children so that Sandy could be there with Dad.
Although temporary, Dad made a remarkable turn-around and his numbers were looking really good. His kidney function had returned to normal and, although his liver enzymes were still high, they had improved immensely (from 1600 to 160 AST). His bilirubin remained high, though, and he was jaundice.
Eleven days after being admitted, he woke very coherent and VERY ready to get off ventilation. The respiratory therapists had been testing his breathing for several days and felt he was ready, too. So, they made the big move and he was able to breath on his own. He was so happy to be able to speak and move his arms (he was tied down while on respiration). It took about an hour for the words he spoke to be comprehensible; but he did it. He thanked both Sandy and I for all that we had done and told us how much he loves us. It was wonderful to hear those words.
His will to live and get out of the hospital amazed me. He spent the rest of the day trying to drink from a straw, a task not easily completed. In fact, he was only successful a few times. His body was just so weak. His brain worked just fine; but his body didn't want to cooperate. The physical therapists were able to get him to a seated position, though, which helped him realize how very weak he really was.
Unfortunately, I had to leave later that day to go back to Utah to take care of my kids, as Tim (my husband) was going out of town on business. So, I left Monday afternoon (April 4th) with hope and elation. John came back in just as I was leaving. So, dad was never without one of us.
The next day, the physical therapists were able to get him up again and into a chair. All of these milestones were so huge. We were so excited to see/hear his progress. At this point we were thinking about rehabilitation and how we would be able to integrated him back into normal living. The docs kept talking about hospice; but we didn't understand why he would need that since he seemed to be doing so well.
Although Dad had defied the odds for 14 days, he took a huge turn for the worse on Thursday, April 7th. When John and Lee left him that night, they said to Dad, "We'll see you tomorrow." Dad replied in a very groggy voice, "We'll see." I think he had lost hope at that point and realized the gravity of his situation.
The next morning I received a call from John and the message was grim. But, I couldn't help but think this was just a "down moment", since he had been so up and down through the process. Not much later, John's girlfriend, Kylin, who had just lost her father last year, called me and asked if she could hold the phone to Dad's ear so that I could talk to him, which I did. I told him how much I loved him and that I would see him soon. Whether or not he heard me, I don't know. But, he peacefully passed away shortly after at the age of 66. He was never in any pain and it was his wish not to be further resuscitated, should he stop breathing again.
I can't help be feel somewhat cheated. But, yet, I feel so blessed to have had that time with my dad. I feel that God kept him alive just so that his closest friends and family could say good-bye. I thank God for that.
So, I bid my dad farewell...until we meet again in Heaven.
